Having It All…

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So, here I am, on a Saturday morning, pondering the fact that I am getting married in less than three weeks. It is without much fanfare, as we have been living as partners for a while now, own a home, raising kids, sharing money, etc….but even so, there is that twinge of self-awareness, identity crisis, wondering if I will lose a part of myself. Before the sun had come up, before I had even finished my first cup of coffee, I had an epiphany.

~ It’s because of my old-fashioned, conservative ways, that I am able to live the modern-woman, many hats life that I do. ~

I’m not patting myself on the back. I know many women who juggle everything and we are all awesome. But I also know young women who are just starting out, facing choices between their needs, a man’s needs, their children’s needs, etc….and I know many women my age, who are miserable. Many.

So as I consider how to be the best Mrs. Hearn I can be, I am also extremely determined to still be the true-to-self Cherilyn I have always been.

In one day I may be folding laundry, feeding chickens, writing a book, planning a tour, quilting, painting, doing taxes or baking a cake. I truly like to think that I have it all. I have all the things that are important to me. I have my career, my education and my time, but my children have clean clothes and full bellies, my husband has crisp sheets and a doting wife. Let me tell you what I don’t have.

I don’t have credit cards or a fancy car. I never have. We are actually currently sharing a car, because we can. When I have had a car, I rarely have a car payment. If you’re saying to yourself…” but I loooove my car!” More than your dream? Your time? I doubt it.

I don’t have a huge social life. I have a lot of friends on Facebook, family I love and plenty of that, but I don’t go out a lot and I have to say ‘no’ sometimes.

I don’t have a huge wardrobe. I like shopping as much as the next girl, but I’m a bargain hunter, I Christmas shop all year long, I get a core wardrobe that I love and I stick with it, adding new things here and there. I wear Nikes and nice things, but nice things last when you take care of them and very nice Nikes can be found at rummage sales in the country club. 😉

I don’t have a job.

Huh?

I don’t have a 40-hour-a-week, answering to someone else, stressing me out and adding zero to my soul, job. I have been self-employed or salary employed most of my adult life, regardless of having a man or other support system. This was a choice I made a long time ago. I wanted to be available to my child. I wanted to write and take pictures and pursue my education. So I made decisions centering around MY happiness.

You can sell your car.

You can put back that Coach bag.

You can change your situation.

If you are miserable you know it. If you hate your job, you are wasting the only life we have! I know you have to feed your kids and pay your bills, but I promise there are creative ways to do both. I have been a substitute teacher for ten years. It is on my schedule, works around my children’s school schedule and is very low stress. You take zero work home and when you walk out of that classroom, 100% of your thoughts are back to you, your spouse, your family. In my state, you do not have to be pursuing a teaching career to be a sub. Every state and sometimes every district varies, but check it out. When it has been necessary and available, subbing full-time pays $1720 gross per month. I can live on that in my sleep, because I have no car payment and no credit cards…

I have done daycare from time to time. I’m one of those women that can have two or ten kids running around my house and it’s all the same to me. Another nose to wipe or mouth to feed just doesn’t occur to me. It may sound like a big deal to really open a legitimate daycare business, so don’t. There are loopholes, when you don’t do full-time, limit the number of kids etc. These laws are designed for grandmothers and friends who babysit occasionally. Also, most daycares only do full-time, so part-time and occasional options are in high demand.

I write for money.

I cook for money.

I work by phone, by computer, all from home.

Almost anyone can take care of elderly individuals in their home, by simply being CPR certified and getting some training that agencies provide. These hours are always part-time, flexible and it’s up to you whether you have two clients or twelve.

These are just a few things I have done over the years, because paying bills IS NOT my life’s work. Being a mother, a wife, a writer and an artist IS.  

Finally….remember my epiphany about modern vs. conventional? Here’s the deal… Because my man knows I am absolutely committed to him, our home, our life, my ‘pursuits’ don’t bother him. That’s up to you ladies. Men are just afraid we are out  in the world and we’ll find someone or something better. So I travel and go on book tours and earn degrees. But Mr. Hearn knows I will drop everything and come back to the farm anytime he needs me, the kids need me, or he says so. That’s a scary thing to give a guy all that power right? But it turns out, I have a whole lot of my own freedom because of it. 😉

Think about it sisters!

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Have I Found the Best Fundraiser/T-shirt Maker? Yes, Yes I Have!

Have I Found the Best Fundraiser/T-shirt Maker? Yes, Yes I Have!

penny

promise me you’ll just go check this out…. it’s such a great way to raise money, but with a quality product and just pennies go to the fundraiser!!  I know …what do we want with pennies? They add up. We are optimists and realists. 🙂   http://teespring.com/PenCup2015

Sidebar: I AM almost 10,000 words into The Quiet Republican and my cover is literally renting space in my head…it’s all coming together!!!

Has anyone heard from Pammy??   PAMMM!!!!!???   Where are you??  LOL.

All About Us…

Hi, I’m Cherilyn…one half of the Pen & Cup Book Tour, travelling eight U.S. venues in the Spring of 2015. I know, a year away??  We could have started this blog later on, but we want to get everyone fired up as you join us on our journey. I mean that literally. Today is the first post, the first blog. No venues have been reserved, no hotels have been booked… we’re building our fan base and sharing the process from start to finish…including maintaining the blog, photos and even video posts ON TOUR!!

My other half is Pamela, but I will let her introduce herself. We WILL post at least three times a week. We WILL answer questions, engage in conversation and not just envelope our readers in our blog preparation, but in our writing as well, our triumphs and challenges and the love and agony of balancing busy lives with the voices in our heads. We will be professional, but writing is a life, not a job. We might as well share our spilled milk and flat tires along the way! We will both post at will, so you  never know when one of us might pop in and complicate your day!

Cherilyn ~

I am a 38-year-old mother of one grown daughter with special needs, one daughter with a beautiful baby girl and two teenage sons. I am also the mama to a Doberman, one duck, two goats, one cat and let’s see, thirty-seven chickens? I lose count. There’s this handsome farmer around here somewhere who handles the animals outside and I handle the ones in the house! He actually works for the city while I teach and write, but we also have a furniture business, a research firm and I am working on my degree online. My Facebook page is linked below and has a much broader bio, but that’s a little about me.

The book I take on tour HAS NOT YET BEEN WRITTEN!!!  You heard correctly. It will be my eleventh or twelfth book and I have many ideas and WILL nail one down here quickly. So….not only will you enjoy as we plan our tour, go on our tour, raise children, wash dishes and miss hair appointments… you will ride along as our books develop into literary masterpieces I know they will be!! Check out my Facebook page for links to some of my other books on Amazon, as well as lots of plans for future work and work in progress! I wonder if we should take all of our work on tour…for sure focus on our newest release, but why not have others on hand?

So… since we have so much to do… I know what you’re thinking. YES! Yes, we would love suggestions, encouragement, questions and ideas!!  We are looking for eight venues for book signings in the following nine cities….. Dallas, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, St. Louis, New York, Boston, Atlanta & Chicago. As our name may have hinted…we would love book stores that also double as coffee shops, art galleries, open mics or anything else that inspires people, the arts and add to their surrounding communities. We are very aware of the coffee shop madness that is sweeping the nation and we are on board! Do you know of a place near you, in one of these cities, that sounds like it would fit the bill? Let us know!!!

Well it’s 3:40 am, so I guess I’ll go for now. See my link below and look forward to hearing from Pam soon!

Goodnight and Good morning!!! 🙂

FB:  www.facebook.com/CherilynWrites