Too Many Oars…

Well I am all over the place. I like being busy, but wearing a lot of hats makes me feel like I’m literally ‘being’ a lot of people, instead of just one. My right brain is on sensory overload…writing, painting, sculpting, decorating. On the one hand, I want to do one thing very well. But I am good at all of these things and hate the thought of cutting any of them out completely or even significantly. So I grapple with measuring their place in my mental make-up, whilst staying the course.

Artist

SozenFix614  (Thinking of hosting painting parties at the homestead.)

For some reason I’ve gotten artsy lately. I mean I’ve always been an artist, but now I want to build a portfolio, try to have a show, expand my mediums. Why? Where did this come from?

Writer

WildeSeriesAd  (Thinking of having a writer’s retreat at the homestead.)

Of course I’m a writer… I’m planning our tour! I have two titles to finish for that and the other morning I woke up with yet another novel rattling around in my head. But it’s not just the writing, it’s the planning, the decision making, the blog, the contests, the marketing and contacting venues and ordering business cards. This is my last self-publishing tour, I can tell you that! I can see why doing the extra leg work to try and capture a traditional publisher is worth it….I mean other than all the other obvious and popular reasons.

I Decorate…

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I Sew…

b1 b7 I’d like to start a line of aprons…150282_1659300514737_2016782_n

 

 

I Volunteer for Family Trees… Party Planning… Quilting!!

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This is a logo I created a long time ago for “David Research & Investigation”…

 

 

I Photograph…

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Usually for friends and family for little or no profit and sometimes at a loss. I’m not complaining. It’s always my idea and always something enjoy! But I have to stop!

I’ve only been married for about 3 1/2 months and my blended family is still finding its way, so maybe I’m burying myself elsewhere. I love all of it, but I don’t give 100% or even 50% to any of these pursuits. So how can they be accomplishing anything?

This is all without a kitchen!! glutenfree  I know once that oven is going I’ll be baking cakes and delivering cookies; experimenting with new recipes from Pinterest and every dish is another minute away from the canvas, the manuscript or the clay.  Oh yea! Clay!

My sweet, sweet daughter is always trying to find a way to “do” something. She is disabled and her options are limited. She can’t really be away from me. So, she tags along and although she shares some of my artistic itch, her attention and energy wane and so I take what I can get. Anyway, I recently decided to collect, make, explore the world of miniatures. Something I’ve always liked and actually a very adult hobby. A friend also commissioned a custom wedding topper from me recently, which I used to do a lot, so I had to drag out the sculpting tools, which rekindled that niche and once the topper is done, we’re going to try our hand at 1:12 miniatures. Here’s my first attempt…

IMG_0413  I love it…but I can’t do it all. Can I?

 

My family is pretty low-maintenance, despite the giant house, two businesses and hundreds of animals. Am I kidding myself?

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Obviously this is my first blog (here) in almost three weeks…so I am spreading thin, except for my ever-widening thighs. 😉

Power on.

ch

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An Epiphany…. Never Worrying About Your Next Book…or Your Last. ~

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So….having gotten married, I grappled momentarily with the whole name change predicament. My previous name, the name all of my books have been written under, is just a married name. Not a name I am particularly attached to and certainly not a name I would keep. But yes, the eight or so books I have published are under that name. So, again, just briefly I panicked. Would I change all my books to my new name? Would I have some type of freakish hyphenation or explanation or what? Let’s face it, I’m not J.K. Rowling. It’s not as if I will lose millions of followers and my notoriety will just plummet without my old name.

But what if my old books, my current books, get lost in the shuffle? 😦

Enter epiphany.

 

I will write more.

That’s it.

Who cares how many books I have written under the old name because I have ten times as many still in me! This was an instant answer, without hesitation or doubt. It was such a great and confident feeling! So, panic is over. Cherilyn Fienen wrote seven or eight books. Cherilyn Hearn will write seventy…at least! 😉

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Happy Thursday!

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Personal & Professional Notes….

Cherilyn is married…again, after 7 years. She’s decided this guy is the one. 😉

New cards arrived and are super cute!! (even without the beautiful P&C logo) #badbranding

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Wants & Needs 

by Cherilyn Hearn

 

Having just pulled off the cheapest wedding of all time and tackling the subject of registering, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to wants and needs and how simple life really can be. I have always somewhat believed in this philosophy, because I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. So I don’t have credit cards, a fancy car, a Starbucks addiction, etc. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a girl and I shop, but I am creative about saving money and making money.

So we decided to get married. 

I’m so glad we had the conversation, or we may have never gotten married. Not because we aren’t in love or committed, but because in my dear husband’s mind, wedding means money, a lot of money. I should say meant. That’s what it meant in his mind, before we talked about it. There are so many things we are building together, things you don’t think about or even understand when you’re eighteen or twenty-five, things that cost money. Things that mean so much more than dresses and catering. Like so many things, our wedding became about needs and wants, even beginning with setting the date.

We originally planned for November…but I just knew, I would Pinterest and Hobby Lobby it to death and by November our ‘tiny’ wedding would be Charles & Diana all over again, with a hefty price tag…and for what? So I moved it up to a few weeks away!! My bouquet was homemade, $4…pearls from the thrift shop $5…things like that and it was wonderful. No bridesmaids, no caterers and the invite was on Facebook except for a few who don’t use Facebook and they got a 19 cent photograph invite with 44 cents of postage.

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So somewhere along the way, someone asked if we were registered. I just felt like this was silly, frivolous, unnecessary. I mean, who says people getting married need gifts anyway? Registering is like “hey, don’t forget to get me a present!” So I wrote a sarcastic blurb on my Facebook on this issue and it spilled into so many other issues. I recommended people come bearing gifts, like laundry detergent and paper plates, Magic Erasers and printer cartridges! I then recommended that school fundraisers be fueled by selling paper towels and school supplies, things that people already need and already buy!! Who raises money selling overpriced cookies and magazines? They do…and we fall for it.

It seems like we can apply this to any part of our lives, large and small. What kind of house do we need, or want? What kind of car, clothes, jobs, vacations? Vacations?

That’s just it. If we avoid the little things, the frivolous, silly things, we can have vacations and retirement and Christmas. Those are just my ideas, but everyone has their own. You may be thinking that needs are boring, but wants are fun. The problem is, wanting is always temporary, shallow, fleeting. Need is deep. Need is oxygen and sunlight. You’ll find if you address only needs, you’ll end up with paid bills and electricity and peace of mind. But you just might also end up with a week in Rhode Island, a book tour and a bucket list. Needs can be big and extravagant too. The trick is really knowing how to tell one from another. 😉

#pencup2015

ch

 

Having It All…

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So, here I am, on a Saturday morning, pondering the fact that I am getting married in less than three weeks. It is without much fanfare, as we have been living as partners for a while now, own a home, raising kids, sharing money, etc….but even so, there is that twinge of self-awareness, identity crisis, wondering if I will lose a part of myself. Before the sun had come up, before I had even finished my first cup of coffee, I had an epiphany.

~ It’s because of my old-fashioned, conservative ways, that I am able to live the modern-woman, many hats life that I do. ~

I’m not patting myself on the back. I know many women who juggle everything and we are all awesome. But I also know young women who are just starting out, facing choices between their needs, a man’s needs, their children’s needs, etc….and I know many women my age, who are miserable. Many.

So as I consider how to be the best Mrs. Hearn I can be, I am also extremely determined to still be the true-to-self Cherilyn I have always been.

In one day I may be folding laundry, feeding chickens, writing a book, planning a tour, quilting, painting, doing taxes or baking a cake. I truly like to think that I have it all. I have all the things that are important to me. I have my career, my education and my time, but my children have clean clothes and full bellies, my husband has crisp sheets and a doting wife. Let me tell you what I don’t have.

I don’t have credit cards or a fancy car. I never have. We are actually currently sharing a car, because we can. When I have had a car, I rarely have a car payment. If you’re saying to yourself…” but I loooove my car!” More than your dream? Your time? I doubt it.

I don’t have a huge social life. I have a lot of friends on Facebook, family I love and plenty of that, but I don’t go out a lot and I have to say ‘no’ sometimes.

I don’t have a huge wardrobe. I like shopping as much as the next girl, but I’m a bargain hunter, I Christmas shop all year long, I get a core wardrobe that I love and I stick with it, adding new things here and there. I wear Nikes and nice things, but nice things last when you take care of them and very nice Nikes can be found at rummage sales in the country club. 😉

I don’t have a job.

Huh?

I don’t have a 40-hour-a-week, answering to someone else, stressing me out and adding zero to my soul, job. I have been self-employed or salary employed most of my adult life, regardless of having a man or other support system. This was a choice I made a long time ago. I wanted to be available to my child. I wanted to write and take pictures and pursue my education. So I made decisions centering around MY happiness.

You can sell your car.

You can put back that Coach bag.

You can change your situation.

If you are miserable you know it. If you hate your job, you are wasting the only life we have! I know you have to feed your kids and pay your bills, but I promise there are creative ways to do both. I have been a substitute teacher for ten years. It is on my schedule, works around my children’s school schedule and is very low stress. You take zero work home and when you walk out of that classroom, 100% of your thoughts are back to you, your spouse, your family. In my state, you do not have to be pursuing a teaching career to be a sub. Every state and sometimes every district varies, but check it out. When it has been necessary and available, subbing full-time pays $1720 gross per month. I can live on that in my sleep, because I have no car payment and no credit cards…

I have done daycare from time to time. I’m one of those women that can have two or ten kids running around my house and it’s all the same to me. Another nose to wipe or mouth to feed just doesn’t occur to me. It may sound like a big deal to really open a legitimate daycare business, so don’t. There are loopholes, when you don’t do full-time, limit the number of kids etc. These laws are designed for grandmothers and friends who babysit occasionally. Also, most daycares only do full-time, so part-time and occasional options are in high demand.

I write for money.

I cook for money.

I work by phone, by computer, all from home.

Almost anyone can take care of elderly individuals in their home, by simply being CPR certified and getting some training that agencies provide. These hours are always part-time, flexible and it’s up to you whether you have two clients or twelve.

These are just a few things I have done over the years, because paying bills IS NOT my life’s work. Being a mother, a wife, a writer and an artist IS.  

Finally….remember my epiphany about modern vs. conventional? Here’s the deal… Because my man knows I am absolutely committed to him, our home, our life, my ‘pursuits’ don’t bother him. That’s up to you ladies. Men are just afraid we are out  in the world and we’ll find someone or something better. So I travel and go on book tours and earn degrees. But Mr. Hearn knows I will drop everything and come back to the farm anytime he needs me, the kids need me, or he says so. That’s a scary thing to give a guy all that power right? But it turns out, I have a whole lot of my own freedom because of it. 😉

Think about it sisters!

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Yes, Dear

Let’s pause for a moment to give credit where credit is due.

This tour is sponsored by John & Brandon. Who? That’s ok, they prefer you really have no idea who they are, but they are the behind the scenes…the key holders…the checkbooks. I make light of it, but seriously. We are stay-at-home, awesome-as-we-may-be…mothers. Between us we manage nine children, two of them with special needs. We pay bills and run a business. We clean two big houses, prepare about two hundred portions of food a week, receive at least ten phone calls a day, drive countless miles…

Taking on this tour meant going to the men and our lives, flashing those pearly whites and saying “please?” There will be gasoline, food, housing and inventory to pay for. There will be cooking and cleaning and laundry and children to wrestle while we’re gone…and though the dogs may enjoy the extra room, two empty spaces in the master suites! They are strong, capable men, completely competent enough to handle it, but they are our responsibilities and we know many men who would have said “no,” and quickly.

Ours did not hesitate. We won’t post pictures so we don’t have to deal with the women trekking to Kansas to sneak a peek at the marvel that is our men. 😉